Life-changing Courtship Tips For Women

Courtship is a period during which a couple develop a romantic relationship, especially with a view to marriage. 

Carefully consider the below life-changing courtship tips.

1.  Only consider courtship at a time in your life when you are ready to consider marriage. Until that time–foster the virtue of friendship and hold off the romance until you are really ready for it.

2.  Only enter into a courtship with a man whom you would consider marrying. A woman might consider “just” dating any guy that she’s attracted to as long as she has no sense of long-term commitment. The problem arises when she’s grown attached to him after a period of time and can’t bring herself to breaking off the relationship, even when it’s not good. She may end up marrying a man that she otherwise would not have. Set the stakes higher – only court with a man you’d consider marrying.

3.  Enter a courtship to discern whether or not you are called to marriage with a certain man. Courtship is dating with a purpose. If you know that you would not consider marriage with this man, or you are not ready to consider marriage yet, then don’t enter into a courtship. Stay friends or acquaintances for the time being. Courtship is about prayerful discernment, which means you will decide either that God is not calling you to marriage with this man or that He is not. Both outcomes are valid in a courtship!

4.  Take time through prayer to discern God’s will. You need to foster prayer in your lives individually and as a couple. You can not know God’s will without prayer.

5.  Base your courtship in the family: As much as possible, spend time with each other’s families. This is so important–for if you do end up married, you’ll want to get along. The family is an invaluable resource and such an integral part of who we are. You will learn much about each other by seeing how each other relates to family members. And your family, in turn, can give you much insight into the man with whom you are courting (and his family, about you!) Family sees things we don’t always see. Love can be blind at times–family (and friends) can really help to correct our vision. If you are far from family, make every effort to get home and spend time with them. And in the meantime, adopt a family (friends from Church, for example) to provide for you all the benefits of a family-based courtship.

Items 6 – 15 deal with setting guidelines for yourselves from the very beginning of your courtship. (If you’re starting over–changing from a dating relationship to a courtship model–then begin now with guidelines.) The following points will cover areas you should consider in those guidelines.

6.  Emotional Intimacy: Guard your hearts and do not dive emotionally into a courtship relationship head first. Give yourselves time to learn about each other. Do not open up all your intimate secrets, desires and longings to each other immediately–just because you are courting. Allow your relationship to grow naturally. Keep the mystery alive by not revealing everything all at once. The problem with “dumping” on each other emotionally early on in a relationship is that if you later discern that you are not called to marriage you could have many regrets over having shared those intimate thoughts and secrets with someone who will not be your husband. You need to be honest with each other, but that does not mean you have to reveal everything right away. As the relationship grows, you will discover a natural pace for sharing those emotional intimacies.

7.  Physical Intimacy: Decide what your limits will be and write them down. Remember that as you store up your treasures of physical intimacy before marriage–every sacrifice that you make to stay pure becomes a jewel for you to share with each other in marriage. At that time–you will be able to delight in the beauty of giving yourselves to each other completely and totally. And your pleasure in marriage will be magnified by your time of waiting.

8.  To kiss or not to kiss: Are you going to allow for kissing or not? Kissing is NOT a sin. It is not bad. It does not mean that a couple is less virtuous in courting if they allow for kissing. It is a decision you make as you set your guidelines. So think through the reasons why you would choose to allow for it or not!

9.  Saving that first kiss: Many couples decide to leave kissing out of their relationship–as kissing has the power to ignite their passions. They choose to wait until the altar for their first kiss. They also might be coming out of past relationships–where they are struggling to keep control over their passions. They might be coming from a position of never having been kissed before, and now that they’ve waited this long–they want to go all the way with it! There are a variety of reasons why some couples choose this path.

10.  Saving that “next” kiss: Other couples, who have allowed for kissing in their relationship, sometimes decide to cut it out and wait to have their “next” kiss at the altar–which could be quite a wait! But they’ve seen how kissing is stirring passions that are making it harder for them to stick to their goal of staying pure in their relationship.

11.  Kissing with limitations: Some couples allow for kissing–but they limit how and when and where–which is wise if they want to keep it from stirring those passions that can be so easily ignited.

12.  Hugging: Are you allowing for hugging–and in what context? Hugging is a completely acceptable and beautiful expression of affection, support, and love. However, prolonged hugging—while all alone and at times when you might be feeling weak (like late at night)—can stir passions. Just be careful that you are guarding the context well so that it doesn’t begin to undermine your good intentions.

13.  How, where and when you spend time alone: During courtship, you obviously will want and need to spend time alone together. But how and where are important questions? If you are spending time alone late at night or in complete isolation, you may just find that your resistance to temptation is weakened. It’s best to find time alone together while doing something–going for a walk, cycling, canoeing, playing sports, taking in a show or going out to a restaurant, etc.

14.  Avoid the near occasion of sin. This is not to say that a couple who is courting will only stick to their goal of purity if they are NEVER alone together . . . as if to say the only reason they resisted temptation is that they never went near temptation. But there is a teaching that exhorts us to “avoid the near occasion of sin”. We should not deliberately put ourselves in temptation’s way. Hopefully, any couple who makes these resolutions–even if they were given the opportunity to break them–wouldn’t break them, because they are persons of integrity! But we are all weak at times. All it takes is one moment of weakness (and be sure Satan will be watching for it) for you to make a mistake that you could regret a lifetime.

15.  Don’t give rise to scandal. But what if we’re not being tempted? Why wouldn’t it be alright to be off, alone, in isolation together–for example staying late over at one or the other’s apartment alone? This is where we get into the whole issue of giving rise to scandal. The problem a couple faces here–even if they are strong enough to resist all temptation–is the impression they are giving to others. “So what?” You may ask. “Let them gossip–what do we care? We know we’re not doing anything wrong!” When others perceive you to be leading an impure life, it gives others a sense of it being okay to not embrace purity in their own relationships. They’ll be thinking, “After all, they’re doing it and they’re a nice Christian couple. Obviously, it doesn’t make any difference if we do or don’t.” Even though you had been embracing purity, you still misled others to believe you weren’t. In this way, you would not be helping to build the body of Christ by your good example. Rather, through the scandal you would have given rise to, you would have inadvertently led others to sin. It is our sense of responsibility in the body of Christ that leads us to make the necessary sacrifices for the sake of others when we decide not to give rise to scandal.

16.  Accountability: We all are more responsible when we are held accountable for our actions. Make a list together of your resolutions and guidelines for your courtship and give that list to some mentoring couples and accountability partners. These could be your parents, other married couples from Church, friends, roommates, family members. Basically, you are looking for people you trust and respect to be able to talk with openly about your relationship. They should be able to ask you at any time how you are doing–if you are keeping your resolutions–and you need to be able to answer them honestly. 

17.  Mentoring: Along with this idea is the need for mentoring couples–ideally, that would be your parents, but it is not limited to parents. These couples should be well-versed in the Church’s teachings on marriage and the sacraments. They should be couples who can advise you on all kinds of issues related to marriage: finances (especially tithing), family networking, Natural Family Planning and the gift of human sexuality, balancing work and family life and so on.

18.  Time to pray and time to play: Obviously prayer time is important for a couple who is courting–as they are trying to discern God’s will for their relationship. But a couple should never neglect to be sure to allow for play time! Have fun. This season of life should be fun and filled with excitement and adventure. Don’t forget to make time to play.

19.  Keep the romance alive: Remember that courtship is a time of romance. Don’t cheat yourselves out of that. Enjoy dynamic, exciting, God-glorifying romance by seeking ways to give of yourselves to each other, to serve each other and to show your love for each other in simple ways. Romance–true romance–is about blessing the other by giving of self . . . and that’s what true love is about, too. So you see, the two go hand in hand. Couples who engage in an intensely physical relationship often lose out on this very point–because physical pleasure has become the focus of their relationship. By converse, couples who do not distract themselves with physical intimacy have more time on their hands to spend creatively doing romantic things for each other and together–blessing each other with their loving deeds and gestures as often as they can.

20.  Be active in your faith community: Courtship is a great time to grow in faith together–and to spend time together in your faith community. In this way, your relationship is supported by like-minded people who will become for you that community that celebrates with you in times of joy, consoles you in times of grieving, and that lifts you up you in times of hardship. We cannot live in isolation–we need that community to be there for us, which means, we need to be there for them as well. Be involved, have fun taking in events and activities together, volunteer service time together, and join in prayer groups and Bible studies together. These opportunities to spend time together, in a larger group setting, help you to learn much about each other by seeing how each other deals with a variety of situations and other persons . . . and are great opportunities to dedicate your time and talents to the Lord.

21. There is a great deal that can be said about courtship. And each family will establish their own model–sometimes a different model for the varying circumstances of each child. What is import is that you discuss these things in the family and when the time comes in your life for courtship you will be prepared with an excellent game plan!

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These Pieces of Advice On Marriage Will Blow Your Mind.

Marriage is a beautiful and pleasurable thing. However, marriage is not a child's play, and as such
precautions must be taken before you say "YES" to that handsome Man or beautiful Lady.

 Below are words from a father to his son about marriage.

1. My son, if you keep spending on a woman and she never asked you if you’re saving or investing, and she keeps enjoying the attention, don’t marry her.

2. My son, a woman could be a good wife to you, some could be a good mother to your children but if you’ve found a woman like a mother to you, your children and your family, please don’t let her go.

3. My son, don’t confine the position of your wife to the kitchen, where did you get that from? Even in our days, we had farm-lands where they worked every morning . . . that was our office.

4. My son, if I tell you that you’re the head of the house, don’t look at your pocket; look if you will see a smile on your wife’s face.

5. My son, if you want to have a long life, let your wife be in-charge of your salary, it will be difficult for her to spend it when she’s aware of the home needs and bills to pay but if it’s in your care, she will keep you asking even when all has been spent.

6. My son, don’t ever beat your woman, the pain in her body is nothing to be compared to the wound on her heart and that means you may be in trouble living with a wounded woman.

7. My son, now that you’re married, if you live a bachelor kind of life with your wife, you will soon be single again.

8. My son, in our days, we had many wives and many children because of our large farm-lands and many harvests, there are hardly any land for farming anymore, so embrace your woman closely.

9. My son, under the cocoa tree that I did meet your mother could be your eateries and restaurants of nowadays, but remember, the closet thing we did there was to embrace each other.

10. My son, don’t be carried away when you start making more money, instead of spending on those tiny legs that never knew how hard you worked to get it, spend it on that woman that stood by you all along.

11. My son, when I threw little stones or whistled at the window of your mother father’s house, to call her out, it was not for sex, it was because I missed her so much.

12. My son, remember, when you say your wife has changed, there could be something you’ve stopped doing too.

13. My son, your mother, Asake rode the bicycle with me before I bought that tortoise car outside there, any woman that won’t endure with you in your little beginning should not enjoy your riches.

14. My son, don’t compare your wife to any woman, there are ways she’s enduring you too and has she ever compared you to any man?

15. My son, there is this thing you people call feminism, well, if a woman claims to have an equal right with you in the house, divide all the bills into two equal parts, take one part and ask her to start paying the other part.

16. My son, I met your mother a virgin and I took more yams to her father, if you don’t meet your wife a virgin, don’t blame her, what I didn’t tell you is that our women had prestige.

17. My son, I didn’t send your sisters to school because I was foolish like many to think a female child won’t extend my family name, please don’t make that mistake, the kind of female achievers I see nowadays has made the male-gender an ordinary tag.

18. My son, your mother have once locked up the cloth I was wearing and almost tore it because she was angry, I did not raise my hand to beat her because of a day like this, so that I can be proud to tell you that I never for once beat your mother.

19. My son, in our days, our women had more of natural beauty, though I wouldn’t lie to you, some had minor painting of their appellation mostly on their arms, the ones you people now call tattoo, but don’t forget that they didn’t expose any part of their body like your women of nowadays.

20. My son, your mother and I are not interested in what happens in your marriage, try to handle issues without always coming to us.

21. My son, remember I bought your mother’s first sewing machine for her, help your wife achieve her dreams just as you’re pursuing yours.

22. My son, don’t stop taking care of me and your mother, it’s a secret of growing old and having children to take care of you too.

23. My son, pray with your family, there is a tomorrow you don’t know, talk to God that knows everything, everyday.

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Things That Make Marriage Strong and Beautiful

Love is a complicated infrastructure.

A thing you are either building up or letting fall into decay.

What makes it strong are the

deeds done in the everyday walk of life.

What makes it beautiful is two unique people coming together and making their own unique kind of love.

It doesn’t come from textbooks or formulas, or to-do lists.

You’ve probably seen my parents from afar, either online here or maybe speaking at a conference somewhere. But I’ve lived around them for a long time, so in case you were wondering . . .

Here are a few things you might not know about my parents’ love:

They talk about everything.

Even tiny, inconsequential things.

Sometimes I wonder at them as they sit chatting away about a subject that seems to be of little importance. They mull it over, and in between second cups of coffee, they look at it from their different angles.

It’s a slow process, and I must confess, sometimes, as an observer, I grow impatient. Why talk about the small things of life? Schedules? Planning? Little worries and concerns?

And then it came clear to me one day . . . that to them, this was sharing life.

There are so few mountaintop experiences in this life, and they could not wait at the bottom hungering for them. 

They find their love, on Monday and Wednesday, and the weekend".

They make their love talking about the smallest of things.

They live their life confiding the tiniest thoughts.

They like going everywhere together.

Even in tiny, inconsequential places.

Again, this seems to me to be taken somewhat too far.

Going to feed the chickens? Let me come with you! Going to work in the garden? I’ll come.

No matter how small the destination happens to be – either of them is usually willing to tag along.

It could be a trip to Home Depot, it could be Costco. It could be the tree nursery, or to the bank.

And all this takes place in little, dry, dusty Central Oregon.

But by their attitudes, you’d think they were going out for a round of champagne kisses.

They love touching each other.

Even in tiny, inconsequential places.

Dad and Mom like touching each other. Of course,

since there are eight of us kids pretty much always around, they have to keep it toned down. But it seems to me that little touches are a thing too. Maybe brushing the back of a tired head, or stroking hair that’s gone a bit flat at the end of the day.

Sometimes I see them touching – without touching – by a look. It’s really understated most of the time.

It’s a slow burn of love, and it keeps on from day to day.

They take care of each other’s hearts.

Even in tiny, inconsequential ways.

If Dad is feeling worn out, Mom will often encourage him to go do something she knows will help him relax. Sometimes mom is feeling stressed,  and you’ll hear dad telling her to retire earlier than normal in the evening.

If one is down, the other will hurry to support. It’s like a friend thing.

Sometimes I get the feeling that they are just best friends.  Not so much just lovers.

 

And, yes, in case you’re wondering, they argue. 

And they get mad at each other . . . even sometimes for tiny, inconsequential things.

But all that never lasts long.

Their love is not perfect. It’s something much sexier than that.

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MARRIAGE GOLDEN RULES

Marriage is a beautiful thing. However, there are some golden rules that make it more
stronger and beautiful.

1. When you keep calm as a lady, keeping him thinking that there is some thing peculiar about you. When he sends you abusive message, do not reply back with abusive word, if you must reply.Write "I'm sorry". Or thank you.

2. No man likes to be talked back to. If you must be a wife material, just mellow. When he is calm, talk things over. Don't be arrogant, be humble(mission impossible).

3. Don't be carried away by your beauty. Have you not seen beautiful ladies that are still single till date? Your good character keeps him.

4. Do not compare him with your EX. There are thousand of other ladies out there. Forget about the past, you are a new creature old things have passed away.

5. Don't always be at the receiving end, buy him something, no matter how little it is, whether he has thousands of it, just buy it, yours is unique. Be industrious, men like ladies with industrious mind.

6. Respect him and his family members. Be a good cook, learn how to cook something. Some ladies can only cook noodles, very bad.

7. Call him when you have credit, don't be a chronic flasher'. don't always wait for him to call. Value yourself, and he will value you. If he doesn't have today does not make him poor, look at what drives Him.

8. Look out, if he is a time waster or he is for real.Can he "fight" both physically and spiritually for you? Where is he in God's presence or is he on the other side? You need to know.

9. What you can't change in him now that you are dating, am sorry in marriage you won't be able to change it either, or you will spend the rest of your life trying to change him.

10. You are dating and he punches you at every slightest misunderstanding Sorry, when you marry him, your bedroom will be a "changing room" and your sitting-room a "boxing Ring".

11. Every little time, he threatens to break up with you. You start crying, if you leave me i will die...Stop that. who told you? A better person who will value you is coming. Relax! 

12. Above all. Ask yourself! What is GOD saying about this Relationship? 

May God open your eyes if you are already into one, and if you are still searching, God will lead you into a good relationship.

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LOVE IS NOT JUST A FEELING

Love is not just the emotional feelings you have for someone; it goes beyond that. Love is associated with
character or behaviour. A person can fall in love with you because of your good character even if you are not handsome or beautiful. Someone can love you because you know how to cook, pamper, or because you behave well and you make the person happy.

On the other hand, bad characters can make love to fade away no matter how beautiful or good looking you are. If you have some irritating and annoying characters, it can make your spouse to start disliking you and hence the love will start diminishing, especially if you are not taking to corrections. 

Therefore, don't just be good in bed alone, don't just be romantic alone, don't just be beautiful and good looking alone. You should do things that make your spouse happy; exhibit all those good characters that make your spouse happy. For example buying of gifts, being respectful, having a good manner of approach and being jovial and full of humor are ways of developing and strengthening the love and feelings between the two of you.

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Dating & Marrying The Right Person

Marriage is like going to the market to buy garden egg. It may look very fresh and good, but the
inside may be the inhabitant for maggots.

DATE BEFORE MARRIAGE
When you presume that everything is alright, you may end up eating maggots....
One thing is to date, another is to date the right person because dating the wrong person can be hurting and complicated.

DATING WITH THE RIGHT PROCEDURE:
∆ Friendship.
∆ Relationship.
∆ Dating = Courtship = Engagement.
∆ Marriage.
Each stage will make way for the next step, which will enhance your relationship. Do not overlook any stage.

THE RIGHT MENTALITY BEFORE DATING:
~ Date with purpose.
~ Date with love / true feelings.
~ Date with honest intention.
~ Date with vision.
* When there is no feelings, there is no need to date.
* Dating without true love is dead already.
* Without honest intention, dating becomes a child play.
* Dating without vision becomes a distraction.

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE DATING THE RIGHT PERSON?
√ Feelings are always mutual.
√ The intimacy is not about SEX but what you felt for each other.
√ He/She is always afraid to lose you.
√ He/She will always listen to your advice, also he/she will respect your opinion.
√ Your past will never be used against you.
√ Even when you don't have same vision, there will be respect and regards for each others vision and admiration.
√ You can predict his/ her actions.
√ He / she will never hide things from you.
√ There is no room for unnecessary silence and malice.
√ The right person will manage your weakness.
√ The right person does not expect too much from you.
√ Care, Attention, Appreciation, Love and Compatibility remains their bedrock.

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Key To A Problem-free Marriage

Nothing kills your marriage more than the desire to please self. If your marriage must succeed and
thrive, self must completely die.

Most marriage problems are rooted in selfishness or self-centeredness. The moment you turn your focus and your attention away from self and towards God, your spouse, and your marriage, most of your marriage problems will disappear.

The secret key to a better and beautiful marriage is selfless service to God, spouse and others.

Regardless of what your spouse does or doesn’t do, wake up each morning and ask yourself, “what can I do today to put a smile on my spouse’s face and make his or her life less burdensome.?”

Remember, true love is not self-seeking. (1 Corinthians 13:5)

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10 MEANING OF "I'M SORRY"

A wise person is shaped out of their mistakes & are not ashamed to say sorry. Below are 10 meaning of "I'm Sorry"


1. It means you value your spouse more than yourself.

2. It means you value peace than acrimony.

3. It means speaking louder to your spouse that you need them more than anything else.

4. It means producing evidence of your humility & love for your spouse.

5. It means a confession of imperfection but perfected through your spouse.

6. It means telling your spouse that no mistake can break, isolate or separate you.

7. It means you are stronger than your mistakes & your mistakes cannot blacklist you.

8. It means you are human each time you fail to impress your spouse, but divine by saying sorry.

9. It means you are made stronger by your weaknesses.

10. It means your misunderstanding can bring understanding.

Every being is bound to err, but it takes the enlightened to say sorry.

Sorry is not for a woman alone, but a wise man's wisdom is manifested by this virtue.
It's only a fool who never make mistakes.

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