2018

Sunday, May 20, 2018

6 Science-Backed Ways To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Even After Brake Up.

Scientific studies have revealed some techniques that can make someone to fall in love.

Find Out If Your Spouse Is Cheating On You.

Worried that your spouse is being unfaithful? Here are 10 red flags to look out for.

I have watched many marriages be torn apart because of infidelity. It is heart wrenching to witness beloved friends having to live their worst nightmare as they discover their spouse has been selfish and unfaithful. I would never wish it on anyone. Because of this, I have used these awful experiences to collect advice and tips on how to catch a cheater before it is too late in hopes that it may help someone in the future.

Here are 10 of the most common signs that your spouse is cheating:

1. Frequent change of passwords

If you notice your spouse changing their email, cell phone, computer or social media passwords more than usual, chances are they are trying to hide something.

2. Social media profiles

If a spouse is unfaithful, they will most likely make their social media profiles look very "single." Updating their profile picture to a solo shot or a picture with friends and hiding photos of you as a couple should be a big red flag. Also take notice if there is an obvious increase in the amount of time your spouse spends on social networks each day.

3. Cellphone habits

A healthy relationship is an open one. When your spouse answers the phone and immediately moves to a room where you cannot overhear the conversation, watch out. Unless they are planning a surprise birthday party for you, your spouse should feel comfortable talking to anyone on the phone in front of you.

4. Decreased or increased desire for intimacy

In some cases the desire for sex may decrease since the cheater is already getting their pleasure outside the home. However, there is also the possibility that his or her interest in having sex may increase, because of feelings of guilt.

5. Cleared history

A big sign that someone is being unfaithful is when you find their computer or phone history cleared regularly. Though your spouse might be doing this for security reasons, it is more likely that they are trying to "cover their tracks."

6. Increase in social activities

Take note when your spouse starts attending more social gatherings alone. A guys' night out or a business party are commonly used cover-ups.

7. Increase the extra costs

If it seems you are a little tighter on money at the end of the month than normal, look at where your extra money is going. Cheaters will often take out cash to make it more difficult to track where they have spent the money.

8. Physical appearance

Be careful not to jump to conclusions with this one. Your spouse's newfound desire to be more physically attractive might be a result of trying to look more professional for work, or maybe they are just trying to catch your eye. However, if you have noticed any of the other signs on this list, you may have a problem. When seeking a new relationship or adventure, people usually take extra care in managing their outward appearance.

9. Blame you for everything

No matter if something happened at work or away from home, they find a way to blame you and make you feel lousy.

10. Increase in gifts

Spouses who are being unfaithful will often try to cover their guilt with splurges of gifts. If you are surprised by the sudden amount of attention and gifts your spouse is giving you, you might want find out what the motive behind them is.

If you find four or more of these signs in your life, something strange is happening. It doesn't guarantee that your spouse is caught up in an affair, but they are the beginning steps towards infidelity. Be careful to avoid outright accusing them of being unfaithful. Instead, talk to them and try to understand what is going on. If there is a problem, try your best to work through it with your spouse, forgive their mistakes and save your marriage.

The 7 Ways To Make Your Marriage Last Forever

Matrimony is a minefield. Here's how to avoid the most common missteps and always keep the spark alive.

The most useful marriage advice, the kind you can actually follow in a time of need, is rarely obvious. It’s not the kind of “never go to bed angry” life-in-a-nutshell stuff your uncle doles out at your wedding before attempting a Russian kick dance and taking out the cake table. No, the best advice is the kind that doesn’t occur to you right away—it’s the kind you have to earn through years of making mistakes and gritting your teeth. Let us save you some unpleasantness. Consider these seven counterintuitive tricks for building a stronger marriage—the kind of marriage you and your wife deserve. And once you've elevated your game as a husband.

Don’t be overly optimistic

The Norman Vincent Peale approach to relationships that a lot of men embark on—that is, positive expectations inspire positive outcomes—sets up a lot of marriages for failure.
Nothing about a successful marriage is automatic, say Judith Sherven, Ph.D., and James Sniechowski, Ph.D., a married couple who counsel other couples. “People fall into the trap of thinking that just because they are biologically attracted to each other at the beginning of a courtship, problems that come up in marriage will iron themselves out,” says Sherven. The authors of The New Intimacy, Sherven and Sniechowski say that couples need to develop a more realistic picture of the relationship and an understanding of the individual responsibility required to make a marriage work.
Consider this study of newly married couples at the University of Florida. Seventy-seven couples were recruited to undergo a battery of questions and interviews about marital happiness; they repeated the program at 6-month intervals for 4 years. Among participants with poor relationship skills, those who’d had high expectations for harmony showed dramatic declines in marital satisfaction over the first 4 years of marriage. Those who had entered marriage with lower expectations, however, were more likely to report being happy in their relationships.

Learn to fight

Maybe it’s the way she never makes the bed, the way she talks about you to her friends, or the close guy pal she has at work that sometimes irks you. But you are too sophisticated and understanding to lose your temper. Why get bent out of shape and ruin your night?
Actually, some researchers say that arguing is one of the healthiest things a couple can do. Research from the Center for Marital and Family Studies, at the University of Denver, suggests that couples who embrace arguing are more likely to be satisfied with their marriages than are couples who withdraw from conflict altogether.
“Conflict,” explains Sniechowski, “is generally understood to be either win or lose. And in that context, it’s unattractive and dangerous. But conflict is in fact a signal from the relationship saying, ‘Something has to change. Pay attention here.’ And once you understand this, conflict can become the doorway to more intimacy in all areas: emotional, sexual, spiritual, and intellectual.”
Sherven and Sniechowski routinely tell couples not to compromise, tolerate, or merely cope with one another. “There’s an insidious silence that goes with compromise,” Sniechowski says. “It’s really, in the long run, very debilitating. It takes the juice out of what’s possible for the relationship. And even worse, it only produces a false tranquility.”
But there are right and wrong ways to argue. (Throwing a can of soup through the kitchen window would be one wrong way.) “As soon as you recognize that you are upset, you should take a step back,” suggests relationship coach John Grey, Ph.D., who wrote Becoming Soulmates with his wife, Bonney. “You can’t work on a relationship when everything is urgent.” So postpone the discussion for an hour or a day. “Only once you’re calm, centered, and effective can you accomplish anything.”

Be selfish

Admit it. Like most men, you’re selfish. It’s all about you, you, you, and you feel guilty about being so shallow.
Well, go ahead: Be selfish. “You absolutely should take care of yourself first,” says Sniechowski. “When we go to weddings and the clergy talk about the two ‘becoming as one,’ we always want to stand up and yell, ‘Well, which one of the two are they going to become?’” says Sherven. “Really, this sets up a losing situation for both parties. The submissive person is losing themselves, and the dominant one is losing the person he or she fell in love with. Our work promotes the idea of ‘twoness’ in marriage.”
Being selfish is mature, proactive behavior because it keeps you from becoming reliant on your partner for your happiness. Plus, it takes the guilt out of eating the last slice of pizza.
Three healthy ways to be selfish:
—Buy something you really want without consulting your wife.
—Find a passion that is yours alone.
—Spend time with friends who are not your wife’s friends’ husbands. Be religious about seeing buddies every week to play poker or basketball, coach a kids’ team, or just grab a beer. Remember: hanging with your buddies is one of the 100 Easiest Ways to be a Healthier Man Right Now.

Forget sex—for a Moment

Be honest, now: Has the sex ever not been pretty damn good? But if the bedroom is the only place you two are happy and connect on an intimate level, you have a major problem on your hands.
A University of Iowa study shows that the happiest couples are those with similar personality traits, even if they are negative traits like contentiousness or irresponsibility. Study couples reported that having similar personalities accounted for marital satisfaction 46 percent of the time.
But even if you are like oil and water, having a common interest that you can participate in together appears to be a key ingredient in a strong marriage, according to a study from the department of sociology at the University of Arizona. Other studies have shown that couples who exercise together at the gym end up getting more exercise in the bedroom. Still another study found that wives and husbands in long-term marriages considered sharing a sense of humor to be essential for marital bliss.

Stop empathizing

“I call it the ‘me, too’ response; it’s a huge roadblock to real communication,” explains Paul J. Donoghue, Ph.D., coauthor of the book Are You Really Listening? Keys to Successful Communication. “She says, ‘I had a horrible day at work today.’ And you say, ‘Me, too.’ Listen to what just happened. Now the person who was originally trying to communicate a problem has been shut down.”
Men do this all the time, and they think they are being empathetic and helpful. “We take her issue and make it all about ‘me,’” says Donoghue.
“The other common communication mistake men make is listening only for problems that need solutions,” says Donoghue’s coauthor, Mary E. Siegle, Ph.D. “Where women tend to be soothers, typically, guys are fixers. But what women really want is for you to make a commitment to sit down and listen.”
In other words, shut up, nod compassionately, and absorb what she’s saying. The perfect all-purpose response: “I understand. I’m on your side. What can I do to help you feel better?”

Offer Bribes

Remember when you were trying desperately to get into her pants? You showered her with flowers, candy, gifts, romantic getaways to the Mexican Riviera. So, what’s changed in 10 years of marriage?
Giving small, frequent tokens of your affection will maximize your marriage. “I often tell couples to exchange lists of six things their partner could do inless than 30 seconds that would make them happy,” says Grey.
These bribes need not be material to be effective. Try drying the dishes, folding the laundry, paying the bills, walking the dog. The smallest gestures can sometimes yield the greatest rewards.

Make her take out the trash

We all bring certain experiences to our relationships, and we all have certain expectations of how marriage is supposed to work. The problem is, they’re not necessarily the same experiences and expectations that our mates bring.
Here’s an example from Sherven: “Years ago, I was driving with an activist feminist friend in her 40s. She had been married for about 10 years. We were on our way to a meeting when she started complaining to me about how her husband wasn’t taking out the trash. I said, ‘Well, have you asked him to?’ And she whipped her head around and said, ‘No! I shouldn’t have to ask him. He should know!’ So I asked, ‘How should he know?’ And she said, ‘My father always took out the trash.’ Of course, the problem was, her husband didn’t grow up in her family. Too often, we expect our spouse to know what we are thinking or feeling automatically. It doesn’t work that way.”
Falling into patterns from the past can also spell trouble for couples who are looking to move beyond a relationship difficulty.
“The Chinese definition of insanity is doing something the same way and expecting a different result,” says Grey. “It’s critical for people to identify and break their patterns of reaction. You can’t advance and grow as a couple unless you try different approaches to a recurring problem. If you’re a person who wants more closeness with your partner, then give her more space. If you’re someone who’s always seeking more space, force yourself to stay close. Only by taking a different approach is there the potential for a different result.”

If these 10 things are happening in your relationship, you might want to consider
whether you can cope with an inevitable end. Let’s be honest—it’s never going to become a long-term thing no matter how much you might want it to.

1. YOU TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE HE’S YOUR BOYFRIEND EVEN THOUGH HE NEVER TALKS ABOUT YOU.
This is kind of self-explanatory. You know what I mean—you bring him up in conversations with mutual friends and talk about different things that you do together as if you’re a couple and your friends are kind of puzzled because he never talks about you to them. Or, if he does talk about you, it’s never like that. Yikes.

2. YOU RATIONALIZE HIS HORRIBLE BEHAVIOR TOWARD YOU.
For example, if he ghosts you from time to time and you rationalize his behavior then maybe it’s a sign that you’re never going to be in the committed relationship that you want. First of all, he should be ashamed of himself for treating anyone, especially a person he’s semi-involved with, like that. But you also have to take accountability for it too. If you have casual sex and sometimes watch movies together and there are seemingly no-strings-attached because you don’t demand them, he’s only going to keep acting that way. Why would he want to change the relationship to something more if it’s working for him right now?

3. YOU BEND OVER BACKWARD FOR HIM AND HE NEVER RECIPROCATES.
Similarly, if you’re always going out of your way to do nice things for him and he never reciprocates, you’re probably not headed in the relationship direction. Relationships are fundamentally a give and a take and if he’s not even giving as much as he’s receiving now while your relationship is undefined… what makes you think that’s going to change?

4. YOU DEFEND YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO YOUR FRIENDS WHO EXPRESS CONCERNS.
Friends can be overbearing sometimes, but if the majority of your friends are constantly trying to explain to you that your fling with the dude isn’t going anywhere and you totally ignore them, you’re probably forcing it. Like me, I bet you have really amazing, overprotective yet supportive friends. Sometimes it can be hard to hear the truth from the people who love you the most but I believe that when it’s important a good friend will take the heat from you. It’s up to you to hear their message. They just don’t want you to get burned.

5. YOU MAKE UP EXCUSES FOR WHY HE NEVER CALLS YOUR OR TEXTS YOU BACK RIGHT AWAY.
If he’s micro-ghosting you AKA leaving you on read and being an all-around erratic communicator then I hate to say it but your relationship isn’t going anywhere. If he doesn’t have the decency to be responsive to you, it’s not because he left his phone at home or fell asleep, it’s because he doesn’t see you guys as a couple. As a result, he doesn’t feel an obligation to communicate with you regularly.

6. YOU DROP PLANS WITH YOUR FRIENDS TO HANG OUT WITH HIM ON THE OCCASIONS WHEN HE DOES REACH OUT.
I know, cringe. To be honest, I’ve been that girl too. If you drop your plans to hang out with your girlfriends for a last minute sex appointment, not only are you a bad friend but you seem a little desperate to spend as much time with him as possible so that maybe, just maybe, he’ll see you as more than a hookup. It’s not cool and it sure ain’t worth it.

7. YOU LOOK FOR SIGNS OF POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT IN ALL OF HIS ACTIONS.
Along the same lines, if you search for a silver lining in all of his crappy actions, you’re totally forcing it. If you were headed toward a relationship, you wouldn’t have to search for a silver lining because his actions would speak volumes on their face. In other words, when you know, you know.

8. YOU TURN DOWN DATES WITH OTHER GUYS.
If you’re not in a committed relationship yet, why are you turning down dates with other guys? If you are, you need to stop because this is a total sign that you’re forcing something that isn’t there! Maybe you want things to work out with this guy you’ve convinced yourself is your next boyfriend but you’re only limiting your options. Until you clarify that you are indeed in a relationship with him, there is no reason why you can’t entertain other guys and go on dates.

9. YOU TELL YOURSELF THAT HE’S GOING TO WANT A RELATIONSHIP EVEN THOUGH HE SHOWS NO SIGNS OF IT.
If you convince yourself that he’s eventually going to want a relationship and he’s shown absolutely no sign of it, I’m sorry to say that he probably won’t and you’re just forcing this relationship. The truth is, maybe he doesn’t want to be more than just your friend with benefits or hookup. And even though that’s a hard pill to swallow, the sooner you realize that the better off you’ll be.

10. YOU THINK THAT MAYBE YOU’RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG.
Hi, newsflash— you are perfect. If you’re genuinely trying to get to know him and he doesn’t want something more but keeps leading you on, he’s the one with the problem. But it’s up to you to wake up, put your foot down, and move on from the fairytale you’ve created in your head.

The Secret About Mortgage That You Don't Know

Here is the hidden truth about a mortgage that you probably don't know.

Here is a compilation and review of the Top 10 Mortgage Lenders in the country today.

With a growing economy comes increased spending and rising credit card debt. In many cases,

Carrying or paying off a mortgage in retirement depends on people's individual circumstances

It's easier than ever to pay for anything with plastic, but that doesn't mean you should

EXPOSED!!! Signs To Know Your Spouse Is Cheating On You.

If your spouse has one or two of these behaviors, it means he/she is cheating on you.

You’ve suspected for days, maybe weeks. Something is wrong or off between you and your spouse, and you’re beginning to wonder if maybe they might be…. NO! That’s not possible. Other people have affairs, not you two; what you have is special. Then again there was that thing last week, and when you brought it up, your spouse twisted it around as if YOU were the one with the jealousy issue! “You’re just being paranoid–you’re crazy for thinking like that!” they said. Still, there’s that nagging doubt in your mind.

Here are some of the signs of a spouse that may be cheating. These behaviors are only indicators of a cheating spouse and are not absolutes! If your spouse has one or two of these behaviors, and there is a legitimate reason and a mutual agreement (such as you two talk about it and agree to try to lose weight…and they’ve gone a little obsessive about it), these signs do NOT prove infidelity. But when you observe several, or maybe MOST, of these behaviors, your marriage may be in trouble! Again, let me reiterate that these behaviors are only indicators of an affair.

The Classic Clue:

When you see lipstick on your husband’s shirt or strange hairs on their clothing or in the car.

Sign 1–Gut Instinct:

§ The telltale sign of a cheating spouse? Having to ask that question in the first place.

§ Your cheating husband or wife stops confiding in you and seeking advice from you.

§ Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right.

§ You find intimate apparel or other small gift-type items that are gifts for someone else and have not been given to you.

Sign 2–Behavior That Is Not Their Usual Character:

§ When your partner shows up without their wedding ring or suddenly stops wearing it and makes lame excuses as to why. This also goes for jewelry you might have purchased for them and you catch them not wearing it when they go out when usually they wear it at all time.

§ When they break their established routine at work and home for no apparent or logical reason; erratic behavior.

§ When your mate becomes suddenly forgetful and you have to tell him/her everything several times; their thoughts are obviously elsewhere.

§ When they appear distant, show a lack of interest, or develop an unexplained aloofness that wasn’t there before.

§ When their behavior just doesn’t add up.

§ When your wife sleeps with her purse by the bed, or your husband sneaks out of the house.

§ When your spouse suddenly starts completely ignoring you and not listening to what you are saying -OR- when they suddenly begin to treat you extremely nicely…more so than usual.

§ When they encourage you to have a social life and go places out of town, and it seems like they’re trying to get you “out of the house.”

§ When your husband or wife begins to intentionally look at or flirt with the opposite sex when in the past, this is something they would not have done.

Sign 3–Birth Control:

§ When you find birth-control pills in the medicine cabinet, and you’ve had a vasectomy -OR-

§ When you find condoms in the car or in his pockets, and you are on the pill.

Sign 4–Showering/Cologne:

§ When he or she leaves the house in the morning smelling like their usual fragrance and returns in the evening smelling like something else.

§ When they arrive home and head straight into the shower or bath, and they work an office job.

§ When your spouse’s clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume or after-shave used by the opposite sex

§ When he or she has worn the same fragrance for years, and suddenly they are wearing something new and wearing MUCH more than usual.

Sign 5–Uncomfortable Around You:

§ When your mutual friends start acting strangely toward you because they either know about the cheating or have been told stories about what a horrible spouse you are.

§ When your spouse’s co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence, because either they know about the affair or have heard horror stories to justify it.

§ When your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is “touchy” and easily moved to anger.

§ When your spouse avoids social events with you as if they want to cover up that they are with you.

Sign 6–Electronic Clues:
Email clues~

§ When your spouse sets up a new e-mail account and doesn’t tell you about it.

§ When your spouse spends all their time on the email, checking their email, or fooling with email somehow.

§ When your husband or wife suddenly deletes all emails from the email account (and it’s not just a clean up) and in the past they used to let them accumulate.

§ When they delete an email the minute it comes in, and then delete the trash to make sure you don’t see it.

Cell phone clues~

§ When s/he buys a cell phone and doesn’t let you know about it.

§ When your husband or wife suddenly deletes all messages from the voicemail whereas they used to accumulate.

§ When they suddenly delete all caller IDs from the phone so you can’t see them.

§ When s/he sets up a separate cell phone account that is billed to the office.

§ When you aren’t allowed to ever look at or use their cell phone, and they go to great lengths to make certain their cell is not answered by you.

§ When your spouse is secretive about their cell phone and it is on their person 24/7, and they are on it talking or texting that whole time.

§ When they receive bizarre text messages from friends you never realized knew–in other words having ‘pretend’ names in their phone that is really the OP.

Computer signs~

§ When they stay up to “work” or “play a game” on the computer after you go to bed. Excessive internet usage, especially late at night, is a red flag.

§ When your spouse will not allow you access to their computer or they suddenly shut down the computer when you walk into the room.

§ When they may password protect their laptop or computer to keep out suspicious eyes.

§ When she or he warily guard access to their chatrooms, chat logs, games, Facebook page, or other social media.

§ When your spouse has unusual sites showing in the “browser history” (such as “AdultFriendFinder” or “ashleymadison”) or erases their history after each late-night session.

Sign 7–Things Are Just Different at Home:

§ When your spouse raises hypothetical questions such as, “Do you think it’s possible to love more than one person at a time?”

§ When they have a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry (and they never have before) and it’s like they’re trying to find or hide something.

§ When he/she shows a sudden interest in a different type of music that they really disliked before.

§ When your spouse loses attention in the activities in the home and seems forgetful, distracted or like they don’t care.

§ When he/she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home…including the children.

§ When you notice that your partner loses their ability and desire to show the children the attention they need or a lack of desire to do any fix-ups around the house, e.g., lawn care, painting, cleaning the garage, house repairs, etc. They might turn this around on you at the same time and accuse you of never doing anything or treating the child/children badly.

§ When they are always tired or demonstrate a noticeable lack of energy or interest in the relationship.

§ When they sleep on the sofa some of the night.

§ When you two don’t go to bed together, and they tell you not to wait up when you have always done so.

§ When your spouse suddenly asks about your schedule more often than usual–wanting to know where you’ll be and when.

§ When they talk to you they treat you abusively or with disdain, disrespect or excessive sarcasm. Or. . . they may begin to find fault in everything you do in an attempt to justify their affair.

§ When your spouse is exceedingly critical and sometimes mocking you.

§ When your spouse becomes “accusatory,” asking if you are being true to him/her, usually out of guilt.

§ When they begin to speak more and more harshly to you or are more sarcastic. Sometimes this is just an attempt to justify their cheating…or to give them an excuse to storm out of the room/house.

§ When you notice that they are reluctant to kiss you or accept your affection and/or they criticize you for showing attention.

§ When your spouse ignores or criticizes your loving behavior and thoughtful ways. Example: “Why are you so lucky duvy? I’m just not like that.”

Sign 8–Lots and Lots of Changes:

§ When he/she joins the gym and begins a rigorous workout program and “hated” exercise before.

§ When your spouse buys new, sexy underwear and you never see it.

§ When they have a sudden preoccupation with their appearance.

When she gets spiffed up and dresses provocatively to “go grocery shopping” or to “get her hair done.” She may also show up with a sudden change of hairstyle. Him: When he showers, shaves (cologne, deodorant, etc.) and dresses up more than usual to “go out with his buddies” or to “go fishing.”

§ When your spouse begins to make sudden and excessive purchases of clothes or an unexplained change in clothing style (for example, from business professional to steampunk).

§ When they show a sudden interest in a different type of music that they always hated before.

Sign 9–Telephone Mannerisms That Are Different:

§ When your spouse receives “mysterious” phone calls that don’t seem to make sense–and when you ask who called, they say, “No one”, “Wrong number”, or “Why do you care?”

§ When YOU get an increasing number of hang-ups or “wrong numbers” when you pick up the phone especially if the caller hangs up after hearing your voice and doesn’t speak. Generally, when a person dials a “wrong” number, they will at least ask, “Is Fred there?” before hanging up.

§ When your phone bills show unexplained toll or long distance charges. Often you’ll find one phone number listed excessively.

§ When s/he Hurriedly picks up the phone to answer it before you do.

§ When they leave the room to talk on the phone.

§ When your spouse Whispers while on the phone.

§ When s/he deletes the information (name and phone number) from “caller ID”.

§ When they behave differently or end the telephone call abruptly when you enter the room…or appear to hang up quickly.

§ When your spouse tells you to get ahold of him or her at a different telephone number (they don’t want you calling while they’re with the OP).

Sign 10–Automobile Related Signs That Something is Up:

§ When the passenger’s seat is adjusted differently than you had left it.

§ When your spouse takes the child seat and/or kid’s toys out of the car for no particular reason.

§ When you find suspicious items in the car like phone numbers, receipts, lipstick, condoms or strange hairs in the vehicle.

§ When they begin to keep a change of clothes hidden in the trunk of the car or an unusual amount of clothes changes at the gym.

§ When the car has the unexplainable mileage or a lack of additional mileage. For example, if your husband states that he went out of town yet the odometer indicates that only a distance of 25 miles had been driven. Conversely, if he says that he’s only been to the office that day, yet their odometer shows many more miles had been driven, this too, maybe a significant matter.

§ When s/he “goes to the store for groceries” or “goes to get some gas” or “goes to the bank” (a task that should take just a few minutes) and comes home 5 hours later.

§ When you notice increased gas purchases that are inconsistent with the number of miles on the car.

Sign 11–Paper Trails of a Cheating Spouse:

§ When you find credit card receipts for gifts you didn’t receive -OR- your credit card bills itemizes gifts you didn’t receive (such as florist or jewelry).

§ When you find the credit card receipts showing purchases from places unknown to you or that seem suspect -OR- when your credit card bill itemizes odd places.

§ When you see an increase in ATM withdrawals on your bank statement, especially those from out-of-town.

§ When you find ATM receipts bearing a time/date stamp from a city you don’t recognize. [Cheating costs money! To play you must pay.]

§ When they begin to volunteer to go to the post office, rushes to check the mail before you do or opens up a new P.O. box perhaps without even telling you.

§ When unusual phone numbers appear on the phone bill.

§ When the duration and time of the calls on the phone bill appear excessive.

§ When they are secretive about their cell phone bill or they start to pay it themselves.

§ When you notice business travel or other deductions on their expense account for travel or other expenses of which you were not aware.

Sign 12–Sex Tip-offs That Something’s Wrong:

§ When s/he is no longer interested in sex, or s/he makes excuses for its infrequency.

§ When your spouse starts to request kinky or other erotic sexual activity (behavior) that you’ve never done before, including watching porn.

§ When they show a “new talent” in the bedroom (that they might have learned from the individual with whom they’ve been cheating).

§ When s/he appears reluctant to kiss you or show affection toward you.

§ When your spouse continues giving poor excuses for why they’re not in the mood to make love.

§ When they have unexplained scratches or bruises on his or her neck or back.

§ When s/he suddenly wants more sex, more often.

Sign 13–Work-related Signs That They May Be Cheating:

§ When s/he works longer hours, more frequently

§ When they supposedly work a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub.

§ When they change their established routine for no apparent reason.

§ When s/he begins discouraging you from calling him or her at work.

§ When your spouse is often “unavailable” when you try to call him or her at work.

§ When they return calls long after you leave a message for him or her.

§ When s/he prefers to attend work functions (or any events) alone and tries to discourage you from attending.

§ When your spouse takes more trips for business reasons and even refuses to let you drive him or her to the airport.

§ When you find out by accident he or she took the vacation day or personal time off from work – but supposedly worked on those days.

§ Your spouse is away from home, either nights or on trips, more than previously.

§ When the amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off.

§ When they are late home from work and always have an excuse ready.

§ When s/he claims to be stressed with work problems when questioned about their odd behavior.

Sign 14–Things you’ll hear:

1. “We are just friends.”
2. “I need you to respect my privacy.”
3. “I Love You But I’m Not In Love With You.”
4. “I need some space to figure out my feelings.”